Monday, May 5, 2014

Brain Fart-knots

Sometimes when I'm coming out of a dry spell of creativity I spend about a week or two of sleepless nights, aimless internet surfing, and staring at the ceiling in the dark.
(This is not always a good thing as I have that pesky over active imagination.)

It's not necessarily procrastination because I'll stop and scribble things down to remember later. It's like popping the cork on a bottle of champagne after jumping up and down on a trampoline for eight hours with it. Ideas are just wildly fizzing out everywhere, bubbles of creativity are popping through my synapses, clogging up my concentration. I want to do everything at once, therefore getting nothing done at all.  Even my attempts to catch up on sleep are taking a hit. I tried to nap today and bolted up with a Eureka moment for a novel I've been working on for years. This is like a brain explosion, or more accurately Fart-knots. Too many ideas, dammit! I'm pulling myself in 9 different directions. Goal of the week: find a balance, take deep breathes, do not face plant on keyboard.
(Warning: The creative juices may increase flatulence of the mind)

Friday, May 2, 2014

Finding my scribbles and inner fluff again...

If you couldn't tell, it's been a while since I posted. This does not mean I haven't been writing posts but when they started repeating the same gloom and doom I chose not to publish them. Truth be told, I have spent the last few months as a Slug, wallowing in depression and doubt. In general, I don't like to talk about my depression. I will write about it, but I keep the bulk of my gloom to myself. This time it was a double whammy of depression and my hormones literally being on the fritz, requiring meds to balance them back out. (Funny how once I got on hormone meds my depression started to level out. *sigh*)

The winter was not a good one. Aside from being mentally sick, I was physically sick repeatedly while dealing with some stressful revelations. Realizing I have no idea how I am going to pay my college loans is a biggie, while my son's official label of educational autism is expected but still feels like a punch in the gut. I pretty much stopped writing completely, even my serial as I sunk deep. I made a half hearted attempt to get back in the game around February or so but couldn't maintain the drive. I needed a serious kick in the pants to get out of this mental sinkhole.

So I went to Arizona.
Look, it's a cactus. *giggle*

Arizona had two big enticements. 1. I would have free room and board for my stay, courtesy of the Divine Ms. Angie. 2. It would be my first vacation, actual out and out vacation, without my children or husband in five years.

Myself and the Divine Ms. Angie atop Mt. Graham
Heading out west to see Angie had another big enticement. She is living her dream, with four published books under her belt. It has not been an easy road for her, but she is doing it and her drive inspires me. I have also had input on all four of her books, providing feedback on content. She is the one contact I have kept close with from my foray into grad school, and I am thankful we connected.

I flew out mid April, discovering over the rapid succession of three flights I do indeed get motion sickness. (blech) I spent roughly four days eating good food, sleeping in, seeing the sights, and generally relaxing. Angie lives at the base of Mt. Graham, which boasted several climates and one hell of a breathtaking view at 10,000 ft. I was pampered with my own bed, homemade waffles, and some of the beast Mexican food I have ever had. I even got to drink, guilt free, which is a rare treat in itself.
I don't often take food pics, but booze!

Apparently I am a pirate in my selfies
It wasn't a trip to the spa or an exotic location but it left me more relaxed than I have been in months. It also set some sparks going. It hasn't been easy, but in the couple weeks I've been back, aside from getting slammed with another massive stomach bug, I have felt the creative juices beginning to thaw. I have set myself up with a list of goals to work on and I have begun line editing again.

My biggest goal is to start up New Earth Six in full during the month of May.
I have a back log of ideas I have been scribbling down and bits and pieces I wrote here and there that need a little nurturing to blossom. Between editing and reading other people's work, I have made some leeway in editing Part 1. Goal number 2 is to finish drafting Zombies vs. Aliens. I am excited about this. If I can get this book finished and out, I have a small series planned for it.

The going is slow. I still have to push myself to accomplish anything every day. Some days are more productive than others, but I'm crawling out of my hole, hand over hand.