Fails, Successes, and Sacrifice

August turned into a month of ups and downs.
I started the month with high hopes of resurrecting New Earth Six, getting some new projects under way, and school beginning at month's end.
I even signed on for WeSeWriMo once again this year, setting myself an impressive goal which I spectacularly failed to meet, and  began a series of horror stories on Wattpad.
Let's get the bummer stuff out of the way:
*I wanted to catch up with NE6, planning to update the site and post at least 8 new chapters. I managed 2, on actual Fridays, though one was half-assed enough to demand a revision by the end of the weekend.
*Despite an excellent start, I haven't posted more to the horror story since the beginning of the month.
*I wanted to finish my Zombies vs Aliens novel, I have estimated roughly seven chapters to wrap up the story but, confession time, I didn't touch it once this whole blasted month.

Disappointment is better with cuteness

This month felt like a big fat fail in the writing department. If I am honest with myself, my writing had a lot of competition for my attention. Mid August brought my husband's pilgrimage to Gen Con,  the end result being an entire week alone with my children. No breaks, no free time, it is a week of exhaustion and exasperation. I love my children very much but, holy hell, I was ready to tear my hair out by the end. The third week of August, I finally landed a part time job to ease the financial pressure of the household. Not wanting to give up my much loved side job, I am now working two part time jobs, and work seven days a week.
I am not sure how long I can keep this pace, but the hours are what we need and the money don't hurt. It is not a stellar job, it's dry cleaning, but you do what you have to. The schedule is one my equilibrium is still adjusting to but I am able to throw my kid on the bus in the morning, spend a few hours with my toddler and hopefully some scribbling, before going in to work through the afternoon, coming home to make dinner and help put the kids to bed. It's not perfect, but it will do.

Despite all the crazy, I did manage a few successes.
*Can I just say, you get by with a little help from your friends? Thanks to some of the dazzling ladies I know, I snagged a new cover photo for NE6, and finally, FINALLY, have a navigation menu for the site that is absolutely perfect. My life is full of computer wizards.

Bam motha feckers!

*While I failed to meet my goals, I did start up NE6 once again after nearly a 8 month hiatus. I hope I can overcome the end of August hiccup it suffered and keep it going. I have big plans and tons of ideas for the story if I can keep the drive alive.
* I have had lots of new plots pop into my head, scribbling down ideas and scenes for new stories throughout the month. I have nearly 100 handwritten pages toward a new series.
I may not have been productive in the direction I wanted to be, but I have continued to scribble and keep those imagination muscles flexed. I hope the fall becomes a productive one *fingers crossed*

Push and Pull

It has been an interesting few months. By some miracle I have managed to keep on tract with writing almost everyday, though not on the pieces I expected.
I am still trying to find traction with New Earth Six, I can feel the story there, I still have ideas cropping up of where to take the characters, but I have not been able to motivate myself to sit down and pound it out.I finally finished editing the hard copy of NE6 Part 1, but have not done the computer edits and formatting.
Perhaps it isn't about finding motivation, because my writing method is an odd process that circles back on itself.
Prime example: I dropped my zombie novel for months, finally coming back to it last week with a clear road map to the novel's end. Before that happened I penned out sixty plus pages of long hand for a new YA series and started a horror mini series on wattpad.

Madhouse: Lunacy

I have yet to find a suitable beginning for my long time brainchild series but I have started keeping a notebook of scenes and ideas. Someday it will come to fruition with the other plots I have been sitting on for years. I theorize it just needs enough time to stew in my imagination before coming to life.
I might even find a way to fix my white whale, the YA novel that has been sitting in flux on my editing shelf for years.
I have so many unfinished projects, so many beginnings without endings it is discouraging. I think if I can finish one project this summer, others will start falling into place, like dominoes, and then I will have tons of full drafts to fiddle with.

Finding my scribbles and inner fluff again...

If you couldn't tell, it's been a while since I posted. This does not mean I haven't been writing posts but when they started repeating the same gloom and doom I chose not to publish them. Truth be told, I have spent the last few months as a Slug, wallowing in depression and doubt. In general, I don't like to talk about my depression. I will write about it, but I keep the bulk of my gloom to myself. This time it was a double whammy of depression and my hormones literally being on the fritz, requiring meds to balance them back out. (Funny how once I got on hormone meds my depression started to level out. *sigh*)

The winter was not a good one. Aside from being mentally sick, I was physically sick repeatedly while dealing with some stressful revelations. Realizing I have no idea how I am going to pay my college loans is a biggie, while my son's official label of educational autism is expected but still feels like a punch in the gut. I pretty much stopped writing completely, even my serial as I sunk deep. I made a half hearted attempt to get back in the game around February or so but couldn't maintain the drive. I needed a serious kick in the pants to get out of this mental sinkhole.

So I went to Arizona.

Look, it's a cactus. *giggle*

Arizona had two big enticements. 1. I would have free room and board for my stay, courtesy of the Divine Ms. Angie. 2. It would be my first vacation, actual out and out vacation, without my children or husband in five years.

Myself and the Divine Ms. Angie atop Mt. Graham

Heading out west to see Angie had another big enticement. She is living her dream, with four published books under her belt. It has not been an easy road for her, but she is doing it and her drive inspires me. I have also had input on all four of her books, providing feedback on content. She is the one contact I have kept close with from my foray into grad school, and I am thankful we connected.



I flew out mid April, discovering over the rapid succession of three flights I do indeed get motion sickness. (blech) I spent roughly four days eating good food, sleeping in, seeing the sights, and generally relaxing. Angie lives at the base of Mt. Graham, which boasted several climates and one hell of a breathtaking view at 10,000 ft. I was pampered with my own bed, homemade waffles, and some of the beast Mexican food I have ever had. I even got to drink, guilt free, which is a rare treat in itself.

I don't often take food pics, but booze!

Apparently I am a pirate in my selfies

It wasn't a trip to the spa or an exotic location but it left me more relaxed than I have been in months. It also set some sparks going. It hasn't been easy, but in the couple weeks I've been back, aside from getting slammed with another massive stomach bug, I have felt the creative juices beginning to thaw. I have set myself up with a list of goals to work on and I have begun line editing again.

My biggest goal is to start up New Earth Six in full during the month of May.
I have a back log of ideas I have been scribbling down and bits and pieces I wrote here and there that need a little nurturing to blossom. Between editing and reading other people's work, I have made some leeway in editing Part 1. Goal number 2 is to finish drafting Zombies vs. Aliens. I am excited about this. If I can get this book finished and out, I have a small series planned for it.

The going is slow. I still have to push myself to accomplish anything every day. Some days are more productive than others, but I'm crawling out of my hole, hand over hand.

An Elite Member of the Zombie Horde

I have been pitter pattering away for NaNoWriMo, though some days are more productive than others. I don't know if I will make the daunting word count as of yet, but I will give it a fair go. I know if I am really going to make a run at this, I will have to sacrifice my most precious commodity to achieve my mad scribbling goal: sleep.
Despite my best efforts, my production during the day is not what it should be, I get what I can done, but it's not easy clacking away on the keyboard with a child who wants and needs your attention. While my children are awesome at playing by themselves I find myself chasing after them for snuggling because they are young and there are only so many years of snuggle time in them. I take it where I can get it. Perhaps if I can sacrifice an hour of sleep here and there, because lord knows I never wake up before they do, then the novel will happen, just with more coffee.
How ironic is it my subject matter is zombies this year :P

NaNoWriMo: aka Writing Revitalization

I've been bad. This month has been the slumpiest of slumps writing wise. I've been having trouble concentrating on much of anything. The only project I've managed to keep successfully going is New Earth 6, still pumping out my weekly chapter, though I have been floundering with the side mini series I was hoping to post.
It's just been a rough month. Mentally I've checked out. I have been reading and thinking, thinking and reading. My many works in progress have hit construction difficulties. I need a good zap to the system to get up and running again. Big huge goals sometimes get me up and moving so I shall be throwing myself into the ring for another lively round of Nanowrimo!
It's just the kick in the pants I need to get myself back in the ring. I've set up my writer's page, chosen the project I am going to focus on, (Zombies vs. Aliens SHAZAM!), and aside from editorial duties, I shall be joining the furious festival of scribbling. Check out the awesome-ness! Anyone else doing it? Want to be my writing buddy? *grin*
http://nanowrimo.org/participants/krazydiamond/novels/zombies-vs-aliens

Buck Up, Fussypants!

Self doubt has a habit of cropping up at really inappropriate moments. My brain tends to be a minefield for stuff like this, for example when I am close to finishing a project or am cheering on a friend who just had some awesome success in their endeavors. It is about this time some pretty depressing thoughts rear their ugly faces, peppering my brain with doubts about my writing, my creativity, my chances for success. I know these thoughts are ridiculous. I know I am not alone in doubting my artistic ability. Every artist who puts themselves out there is taking the same risk. When I feel like this, especially while a friend is experiencing some much deserved success, I duck my head and bite my tongue because I don't want to take away a smidgen of that feeling if it kills me.

When I hit this whirlpool of emotional stupidity, I worry I don't have a thick enough skin to dive into today's close encounters publishing environment. The whole Goodreads bullies fiasco? Christ do I want to really put myself in a Readers vs Authors environment? Or endure the feeling of tossing my e-book in the maelstrom of Amazon which pumps out thousands of self published books every day?

I admit, I have a crippling lack of self confidence. My e-book project, which should have been put out weeks ago, is currently sitting on my top shelf, glaring at me. "What's the hold up, sweet cheeks?" It snarls at me (because most of the animate objects in my apartment are tough guys) "Listen you demeaning ream of paper," I yell at it (don't judge, I am alone with a toddler for most of the day) "I am doing my best here, I am under a lot of pressure right now, from finances and time, and I have other things I am working on, it's not all about you!" It sighs in flagrant disgust and sneers "Keep making excuses and you'll never finish anything."

My surly e-book is right. I keep pushing my personal deadlines further and further back for no good reason. This morning I am struggling to finish a current chapter for New Earth 6, which I surprisingly started earlier in the week. What I don't understand is why I am struggling so hard with self doubt. My serial is experiencing a modicum of success. I had a couple great reviews which have generated an awesome amount of site traffic. The whole point of doing the serial was to create a confidence booster and force myself to share my work. God Dammit woman, BUCK THE FUCK UP!

I don't know what it will take to snap me out of my funk. The best solution is to face forward and keep working.

Behold! New Earth's New Face!

A recent review of the sci fi serial prompted me to give New Earth 6 a serious face lift. The reviewer had a valid point, the starry background made it harder to read the text. So, I went in for a much simpler cleaner design with a new header designed by my West Coast contact *wink wink*

Behold the new, the improved, the bold New Earth Six!

The Sci Fi Chick: Be it Wars or Trek, I love me some Stars

So this morning I woke up to another lovely review for New Earth 6
It had me squealing with girly glee because I am entering the six month mark for keeping the serial up and running. Though I am behind with some of the things I want to do with it, like finish edits for part 1 or hell, just keeping my universal translator up to date *I am so fail*, I have managed to meet my Friday deadline. Truth, I do spend a lot of my Fridays working all day on a chapter  but that is beside the point. *shhhh don't judge me*

However this review sparked an interesting debate/ internal revelation regarding my influences for New Earth 6. The review remarks how the piece has a Trekky feel. I giggled when I read that, but honestly I would be lying if I denied Star Trek's influence on my work. Most of my science fiction influence comes from watching Star Wars and Star Trek with my father. Confession time, I love both Wars and Trek, both have a hand in influencing my story telling style in different ways.

Star Wars I love for it's grand scale epic story telling. The over arching hero's journey, redemption of evil, corruption of good, rogue heroes, all wrapped up in a setting as medieval as it is technologically advanced. There is a lot on the line in the Star Wars Universe, the big bad is so very big, end of freedom in the galaxy kind of big and the good guys have the odds stacked against them, scrappers and underdogs the lot of them. Star Wars taught me no matter how far out there and wild your setting may be, if your characters are strong, they will pull the audience to the ends of the galaxy and back.

Then we come to Star Trek. *Side Note, I don't understand why trekkies get picked on more than star wars fans, for the love of sci fi, can't we all just get along?* Star Trek has a different medium of story telling than Star Wars. Yes both series have an ass load of books, but visually, Star Trek struts its story telling for Television audiences, and has an epic scale on its own in a very different way. The story telling style of Trek varies from series to series, not really developing a sense of an over arching story line until the beauty that is Deep Space Nine. But what Star Trek did do different was pull us into a multitude of alien cultures, down to a very intimate scale (okay yes, very intimate when it comes to Klingon mating rituals).

While the books of Star Wars take you more in depth to the universe, Star Trek's television medium allowed for an upfront display, creating worlds, cultures, people, some so detailed we learned their mythology. The cultures of Star Trek also resonate with cultures from our own history, though remain alien, different. Star Trek also has a special place in my heart, in particular Next Gen and DS9, because of the complex web of galactic politics and turmoil they weave, especially DS9. The Big Bads of the Star Trek universe are also diverse, bearing different motivations and resolutions. We are given examples of big bads who become close allies right alongside the terrifying unstoppable, irredeemable entities (oh Borg baby!).  I would say Star Trek taught me a lot about world building, and world building over time at that, the benefits of the slow build.

My influences don't stop there (*cough Firefly cough*). I have been a reader and watcher of sci fi and fantasy since I was a wee little lass. I find I have grown up to be a bit of a genre scrambler, weaving elements of several genres together in my work. New Earth Six is a sci fi setting, but there are hints of mythological fantasy, frontier western, and high adventure thrown in the mix, among others.

As a writer, I think it's important to acknowledge our influences. When someone enjoys your work, you need to give a nod to the shoulders you stand on, to the art which nurtured and fed the budding storyteller within, because someday, if things go your way, you could be the influence of someone else.

Sometimes I wish for a yurt...

I love being able to work from home. Truthfully, it is not easy, some days motivation is miles away, the kids are clamoring and clingy and I get nothing done despite the internal and external deadlines looming over me. It's days like that I wish for a place to vanish to, somewhere separate from our messy distraction filled apartment.
I wish I had a writing hut, or a yurt. This actually exists, Neil Gaiman, who is a favorite writing celebrity of mine, has a writing hut. I am envious.

Look at this thing, it's freaking beautiful. I can just see myself foisting the children off on my husband as I slip away to my writing yurt for a day of relaxing production. I don't even need something this fancy, a simple shed would do, rough and rustic, as long as I could make it cozy like Mr. Roald Dahl's hideaway space here.

I could procure a mini generator so I have power, a space heater for winter, hole myself up in there and write for a few blissful undistracted hours. Alas, I must fight to concentrate with small hands reaching over the lap top screen, a little face craning over to see what noise my fingers are making. It's an interesting tradeoff. As much as I struggle to write/edit/ do anything computer based that requires actual concentration, I get to look up at the silly curious face of my son. It's frustrating and far from perfect, and maybe I will strive to own a yurt someday, but for now, I shall enjoy the opportunity to tickle my child when he leaves himself wide open, reaching over my computer screen.

A Gaming Vacation

Okay I'll admit it, this past week I have been nerding it up.

After a long but exciting summer of editing, writing and being with my two lovely but hyperactive children, I was feeling a bit burnt out around my birthday. So to keep my sanity intact, I invested in a MMORPG as a present to myself. For those not in the know that is Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. Yes I spent a good chunk of years addicted to World of Warcrack, but since I resent monthly subscriptions, I purchased the one shot deal of Guild Wars 2 and dived into an intense play session. This was pretty much my version of a vacation, granted I will still play now that the week is over but I will split my time with other adult activities like my jobs, writing, home care etc.

Amazing game play, it's as epic as it looks ><

I came down from my gaming haze yesterday in order to finish my commitment to WeSeWriMo and conclude part 1 of New Earth 6 and send Malcolm off for his first day of Kindergarten *squee*. After this bloody long weekend of work (who the hell starts school on a Friday into a three day weekend!) the days will start to take on a rhythm since I will once again have just one munchkin over two. I will be able to devote more hours to editing and to finishing up some novels in progress as well as getting New Earth 6 out as an e-book and continuing the weekly saga. This morning I woke up to a glowing review on Web Fiction Guide, where I have listed my serial for a few months. It made my freaking week and had me blushing for a good hour. It also reinforced my determination to do an editing over haul for typos before putting up the e-book this week.

Big plans, big plans! September is going to kick off another busy month, but at least I have a new game to mess around with on those days I need a breather. Cheers!

Holy Shit I'm 28: Birthday Retrospect

"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

Mitch Hedberg

I'm not a birthday person, haven't been since I lost a parent a month before I turned 8. Something about death sucks all the fun out of the party. Twenty years later, I still associate birthdays with an odd bitter resentment. It wasn't until the last few years my outlook has started to change to something not so angst ridden. I think I now view birthdays with the same thought process I view New Year's. Birthdays have become synonymous with new beginnings, a time to reflect on the road thus far. 

This year has been a doozy, it was around my last birthday I was trying to pluck up the courage to run my life off its current tracks. I was working in a job I enjoyed but had no real advancement opportunity. I still might have stayed, I was in a bookstore, in my element, but there was the constant whisper. I wasn't satisfied with what I was doing, and I had trouble finding the energy to write after a long day of slinging books and caring for kids. I needed a change. By the end of summer I sat down with my boss and told him I was leaving, probably the scariest decision of the past several years. I had a few ideas of how to help support the family but there were two big driving forces behind the decision. One, I wanted to spend more time home with my children, and two, I wanted to seriously pursue writing. 

By November, I left my job of three years, started my oldest son in an intensive preschool program, aaaaaaand sputtered about. I'm not going to lie, the first couple months without work, I was in a bad way. I did not write ferociously, I tried and failed to get back into grad school (long painful story there), I became horrendously depressed and addicted to video games. I attempted substitute teaching and discovered I hated it, being thrust into a situation where the kids don't know or respect you, don't care about what you have to say, and treat you like crap is a special kind of misery. I respect anyone who sticks it out long enough to become a full blown teacher, because that is one hell of a gauntlet to go through. I managed to pick up a small shift at a local bookstore, one day a week, but it was extra income, got me out of the house, and kept me immersed in what I loved. 

By February, my husband began not so subtly prodding me to get another job, something, anything. This was not my proudest time. I was becoming a full blown recluse, I made a few halfhearted attempts to find work, trying to find something I could stomach. And I began working on the writing again, slowly dragging myself back into the process, amazed how awesome it felt to do so. It was during this month of slowly dragging myself back to the realm of the living, an idea took root in my mind, something I never tried before, something I wanted to do, to force writing into the spotlight. It didn't happen overnight, I chewed over the idea for a month and change before I sat down and penned my first chapter of New Earth Six. 

The end of March/ beginning of April is where this year really began to turn around. Once New Earth Six was up and running, I made it a point to write every day. No matter how unmotivated I found myself, I tried to do something. Don't get me wrong, some days I still did nothing, but the writing came easier, ideas began flowing again, and I felt motivated to do things again, even reading a friend's novel to give feedback. If you didn't know already, that decision lead to one of the best changes of my current adult life and definitely the high point of my year, when the act of helping a friend blossomed into a new job, once which makes me feel fantastic, it feels right. The summer also found me attempting some big commitments, writing wise, with the Clarion Write A Thon and WeSerWriMo. The results of both have been surprising and unexpected. The end of this month will also see another first for me, a big one, one I have been working years towards. I will definitely be releasing one title, the (short maybe?) E-book of New Earth 6 Part 1 and possibly (cross your fingers) another title I have been working on this summer. 

When I was young I used to day dream of becoming an author. I used to fantasize how I would be one of the rare people who published before they left high school. Looking back, I laugh and laugh and laugh at that dream. Writing is hard work, it is also a continuously changing and growing creature. My writing now is nothing like it was in high school (thank the gods) but for the first time since I had those dreams, I'm so close to seeing them realized, though with a humble perspective of the writing business and with a bit more wisdom than my teenage self possessed. 

In tribute to my gaming addiction ;)

New Earth Six Cover Reveal!

After hosting a poll on the NE6 blog, ala Polldaddy.com, between three cover art runner ups the final product is the muted but colorful cover #2!

This shall be the face of Part One's e-book! I should probably come up with a better name than Part One but I'm lazy.(yeah totally >.>)
Thank you to all who participated, the people have spoken, and other such sentiments. Seriously though soooo happy people took the time to vote .

I shall be promoting like crazy in the next few weeks with the release of this FREE E-book and hopefully the release of another covert secret project (TBA)

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Accidental Self Censorship

I'm a huge advocate against censorship. I think the idea of changing classics to fit into some modern ideal of political correctness is utter bullshit. I grind my teeth when I hear the (ridiculous) various reasons books are banned. Ignorant people fear books because ideas, like viruses, are highly infectious. An idea can germinate in a child's mind, and when you are trying to force feed your narrow minded doctrine into the youth of your community, you don't need books encouraging them to see the world beyond, to see the differences between us aren't so very different after all.

Yeah it grinds my gears, which is why I find it hilarious and frustrating when I start censoring myself.

My writing often strolls on the shadowy side of the street. Though I write speculative fiction, I still deal in some pretty heavy issues, my serial blog alone has already tackled sexual exploitation, slavery, and rape in one character's story arc. It can be hard to write, especially when you are dealing with something as dark as rape. There is always the sliver of doubt in the back of your thoughts people will be put off by scenes like this, even if it advances the character's story line and development. I have whole paragraphs crossed out from my drafting notebook as I tried to convey this heavy subject, somewhat tastefully, in a bite size chapter.

The current novel in progress is a violent horror comedy. It does have zombies, there is the consumption of brains. As I work through the draft I will catch myself avoiding moments of description, where I could go very graphic. It's an internal slap up the head, I drag myself back and get down and dirty in the details because details, even the gory ones, pack the punch in a story. Game of Thrones is mainstream, the Red Wedding scene is shocking but Martin sure didn't skimp on the details. Who am I to shy away from a little brain matter? And who am I to shy away from the interactions between my characters? Whenever I catch myself in a moment of political correctness I know I need to go back and re-write the sentence.

Fiction reflects society, and humanity. This is especially true for the speculative genre, possibly more so than literary fiction. Where literary fiction offers a mirror, speculative fiction takes you into the looking glass to have to explore, to see beyond the surface. Censorship has no place here. Speculative fiction wonders what if things were different, for better or worse. Right Fucking On.

Sauce: http://dummcomics.com/2009/05/14/no-mas-censorship/

Mother of Sci- Fi

I have stumbled into many a conversation about women authors in sci fi. The most insulting comment is probably "Women can't write science fiction."

Yeah.

What a load of shit.

The truth is, somewhere along the way, science fiction became a "man's domain". I don't say this in a derogatory way, but science fiction is usually marketed towards men. If you doubt this, check out the scantily clad females on the cover of many a sci fi novel from, what, early as the 1930's?
Sci-fi, and a great deal of fantasy, became bro fiction, Westerns with ray guns. It's a stereotype which is still around. Even though there are many good female sci fi authors out there, it is difficult to break into this genre. Many women used pseudonyms, initials or ambiguous names to slip by, such as C.L. Moore.

In 1948 women comprised about 10-15% of the science fiction, or speculative fiction as it's being toted now, authors. A lady did not win the Hugo, the coveted award in Speculative fiction until 1966. These days, women comprise about 40% of the sci-fi authors out there, but the genre has not completely shaken it's gender lean.

Andre Norton

Working in the book store, I get the reader's eye view. I know women read and buy sci fi/ fantasy, a lot of it.  In this same setting, I've had male customer's tell me they won't read sci-fi written by women, women can't write sci-fi, etc. My favorite one was a man voicing this opinion while buying a stack of sci-fi containing three Andre Norton books. *Snicker*

Despite how ridiculous this opinion is, I cringe inwardly because this is the genre I write in. Both my YA novels and adult novels are speculative fiction. My serial blog is sci-fi. I wonder how many male readers will dismiss my writing before cracking open a book based on my name alone. Maybe if I throw a bikini clad woman holding a weapon on the cover it will sell more.

I follow in the footsteps of some pretty amazing writers. Norton, McCaffrey, Bujold, Le Guin, the list goes on. With all those women in front of me, you'd think I'd be confidant enough to put my real name on the speculative novel I'm working on right now. Maybe it's not a matter of confidence. Maybe it is the desire to sell my writing before I sell my name. It is hard to listen to my male customers belittle my role in 'their' genre and not think about it as I write. Ultimately, a writer writes to be read, you think about shit like this whether you want to or not.

So when I turned on 'Prophets of Science Fiction' to relax as I cuddled the baby to sleep, I found myself engrossed by the first episode, talking about the inventor of the Science Fiction Genre, a story which took the science of the time a step further, explored how it could be warped and used for evil. Explored the idea of Man taking the creation of Life into his own hands. Yup, that bad mamma jamma was none other than Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein.

At the age of 18, on a dare, she penned a timeless classic and created a whole genre.  Aside from feeling like a total slacker, wondering what I've done with my life, I realized I not only have some amazing female authors to look up to, but I have her. Man's club or not, a lady built the clubhouse. Frankenstein is an amazing work. It has survived the test of time, it still resonates with us, and it has hooked itself into minds around the world. Mary Shelley may have written the book as a contest among friends, but she created a strong foundation for Speculative Fiction.

It's  a hard act to follow, but it's a little comforting. No matter what I hear, I know I belong here. Mary Shelley has my back.

Cover Art: Not One of My Strengths

Potential Cover, still in the works.

This has been a long morning. My son got up at 5am, I haven't been able to concentrate on anything I should be doing so I messed around with artsy things for a while.
My comical horror novel is coming along at a decent speed. I have plans to try e-publishing with this one, but I am poor and cannot afford a cover artist, so I started thinking of cover ideas I could create. It's tricky trying to make my own covers when I'm not really an artist. I am not a photoshop aficionado, hell I can barely maneuver Paint. After an hour of trying to outline an object I gave up. I ended up actually creating a simple collage and scanned it into the computer. It's very simple, as I said, I am not a great artist, so I feel an attempt to draw something/someone will not end well.
For a book like this, I think simple is better.

It's still rough around the edges. It looks okay as long as you don't zoom in ><. I'm not sure of the pen name either. *Le Sigh* But for a first crack at it, it's not that shabby. Could be worse.

Slightly altered, different name 

The idea is to create a spark of interest, so anyone stumbling across it while browsing sci fi novels will go "What the hell is this about?"

Then and Now: Pitfalls and Successes

The Pitfalls:
When I left my previous employment back in November of 2012, I had big plans. This was it, I told myself, you are going to finish editing your novel, submit it, write or bust!
Yeah 8 months later, edits on the Novel are crawling along. I spit out a redone chapter every few weeks. There are 5 chapters left to edit out of the book, but each one is pulling teeth. I need to finish the overhaul to do something with it, so I have incorporated it into my summer goals.
Back when I started this blog in April, I think my second entry was about seizing opportunities, like having enough income to pursue writing for a few months. It felt like the very next day my husband turned to me and said "We need more money." Further proof you should never open your mouth when you think things are good.
If I hadn't spent my first months of self employment floundering about trying to find a direction, things might be different. It didn't happen like that. On top of battling some pretty severe depression, I was pretty rudderless for a while.
Finances and emotions haven't completely leveled out yet. Some days are better than others, but I feel I am in a much better place mentally than I was six months ago.

The Successes:
This morning my web serial reached 1,000 views.
New Earth 6 now receives a steady 100 views a week. I have learned a great deal about the web serial world. It is hard to establish an audience in this format, you need to be consistent with your posts. In retrospect, I was so eager to get started I didn't consider all my options when it came to platforms and publishing choices. I learned how to advertise a web serial. You have to mention it a lot, not just to friends and family, I advertise on four different websites and link each chapter to face book and twitter as I put it up.
To me the biggest success with NE6 is not just the views, it my continued commitment to posting it. New Earth 6 was a risky endeavor and a huge step for me as a writer. It's challenging, pumping out a chapter each week. Some weeks I do write, edit, and post on Friday. Not the smartest way to go about it sure, but I spend all day working on it to make sure it gets done. It's not polished, it's not perfect, but it's mine and I've stuck with it. I've put myself out there.

Entering a Write-a-thon reminded me I have very supportive friends and family.
I am tearing up as I type this. It is so hard to gain perspective through the tunnel of depression. You become so mired down in your own self doubt you miss the hands reaching to help you out. This is the first time I've done something like this, I don't know if I'll be able to do it every year, but I think it's what I needed to do. Not only has it kept me writing every day, friends and family rose up with financial and verbal support, cheering me on, sponsoring my fundraising efforts, reminding me "We'll here, we're backing you all the way."

Becoming a freelance editor: I know more about writing then I give myself credit.
 I am far from a perfect writer. I make tons of mistakes drafting like everybody else, I often miss mistakes when editing my work, I am plagued by the sensation I've missed something every time I post a chapter of NE6. It's the perfectionist side of my writing self, I think it's the side which holds me back the most.
I do have a decent eye for detail. I have a knack for story crafting, I can see a story's bones, and point out what needs mending. These past few days I rolled up my sleeves and dove head first into the deep end of the editing pool. This is my first paid editing gig, so I've been pouring myself into the effort. Line editing is a bit like sketching a map as you walk along, it takes longer detailing everything from eye level than from an aerial view.

It's been a season of heady changes. I hope the trend keeps upward. It all comes down to commitment and effort. All my successes have happened because I put the work into it. Now I just need to keep it up.

Surprising Opportunities

First, not only hit my $$ goal for the Clarion Write-A-Thon, but sailed on past. $330 as of today, WOWZER! I am blown away by the generosity of my friends and family, seriously I'm tearing up at how supportive they are. What does this mean for artistic endeavors? Well one of the prizes in the write-a-thon is:

• Writers who raise $250 or more are entitled to a free story critique by a Clarion alum (our choice).

I have no idea what this entails, but Clarion has a reputation for excellence which gives me hope of receiving some punch drunk feedback.

Awhile ago I posted about reading a friend's book with intent to give her feedback. Little did I know the windfall from helping a fellow writer with her creative pursuits would lead to an opportunity of sheer awesomeness!
She shared my feedback with her publisher, who was apparently impressed with my attention to detail.
S.M. and I have gone back and forth with our financial woes, so when we came up with the idea of seeing if her publisher would possibly be interested in hiring me for freelance editing, well, it turned out better than I expected.
Within a day of broaching the idea, I had an email in my inbox starting up the conversation. The next day, I had a book in my inbox waiting for edits. BAM, that fast I went from rudderless to being handed a key to the factory.
I've been tinkering with the idea of freelancing for months, with no idea how to start, what to charge, who would hire me. Starting up a Freelancing business takes time, you need to get your foot in the door, build a clientele list, etc. Between my own writing, the boys, and the part time job I didn't see myself being able to start up any time soon. So landing a best selling Sci-Fi/ Fantasy author and his protege as my first client, Hachi Machi. I'm excited, they're excited. Everyone's excited!
Between this and the boost of generosity I've received through the Clarion write-a-thon, I feel the gears of fortune slowly shifting in my direction. To land a job in the field I went to college for: dream come true. I'll be reading and writing for a living. Just keep on trucking along.

Editing and My Gag Reflex

Okay so the phrase 'gag reflex' can't be used without a load of snickering, but in all seriousness, nothing makes me queasy like editing.

Correction: nothing makes me queasy like trying to force editing.
It's a bit like bashing your face against your keyboard for all the good that does you, everyone and their mother tells you editing is a natural part of the writing process and necessary to make a book better. I know this, I see this, I see all the shit I have to fix in my piece. Doesn't make it easy.

Editing my work brings out my inner sado/masochist. Oh, this passage isn't good enough? Let me just slit my wrists and make the corrections with ink made of my blood and tears. You get the idea.

I have been systematically tearing apart the novel for months now, my edits have edits. I have reached the final few chapters and walked face first into a wall of procrastination. The rational part of my brain is screaming "What the hell are you doing?? This shit is almost done! Once you fix all the big stuff, it's just finessing from there!!!" To quote that lovable, annoying redneck "get er done!"

"Ah, but it's not that simple" says the inner artist. "I must recreate whole chapters of this story to fix it, and I am le tired."
My inner artist might be a little French.

I have kept myself writing by turning to other projects, I am happiest when I'm creating. I have given myself another poke of motivation by including these edits in my pledge for Clarion, hoping to trick myself into doing them for a good cause -_-.

The hilarity of this situation is I love editing...for other people. I do love helping a story come to fruition, I love helping someone mold and shape it into a flowing work of art.
The perfect partnership would be to find someone exactly like me. We shall edit each other's work and make millions...millions I tell you!
*cackle*

Well, that rant is over, guess I shall go back to banging my head on the desk til this chapter fixes itself.

Beating the Summer Slump

I love my children, but nothing kills my writing drive like school letting out for the summer. I go from being able to write on and off most of the day while taking care of the 1 year old, to squeaking in time between the two of them. If I'm not too burnt out by the end of the day, I try to write before collapsing in a drooling heap on the bed.

While I have the relief of a summer school session to look forward to, making sure my eldest gets out of the house regularly and with friends, I must find ways of getting over the hit to my writing the heat season brings.
So instead of simply relying on my own gusto in the hopes my 'go for it' attitude gets me going, I've signed up for Write-a-thons! Two to be exact.

Clarion, the excellent resource/support network of the sci-fi/fantasy community hosts their write-a-thon for the next six weeks through the month of July. This one is intense, it's goal is to raise money so they can keep running their yearly workshop, which I hope to apply for next year.

http://www.clarionwriteathon.com/

Here's my own personal jobbie:
http://clarionwriteathon.org/members/profile.php?writerid=599895

I'm aiming high, setting myself some pretty hefty goals, a tri-fecta of editing, creating, and up-keep. It's a do or die summer, I'm finishing the edits on the novel, creating as many new chapters for the novel in progress as I can manage, and continuing posts for New Earth 6. Whew!

Aaaaaand once the Clarion Write-A-thon comes to a close, WeSeWriMo starts up immediately.

 Heard of NaNoWriMo? Same concept except this one focuses on Web Serial fiction, and it's a perfect kick in the pants commitment to keep me working through the blazing heat of August. This one is hosted by Epiguide, one of the heavily populated web forums for all things E-serialized.

I'm aiming to make this a productive summer, one way or another. If I can take the plunge and commit myself to these big projects now, hopefully it will string me along no matter how zany the kids drive me.

Nuttin' Left to Write? Bollox I say!

One of the bloggers I follow recently did a post about the stumbling block I think many up coming writer's hit. The terrible sensation there is nothing left to write.

Bollox, bollox I say.

Every generation has its vamps.

Sometimes it seems like everyone is writing about the same thing at once. Trends like to smash readers over the head with so many books on a subject it seems redundant. We see them in every genre, vampires is a good example, vampire fiction has a habit of cropping up every few years. People talk about how they are sick of vampires but it is the beast that never slumbers, in another decade someone will publish another Vampire novel that will upstart the trend all over again.


Supernatural creatures aside, there is always a story to tell. What writer's get caught up on, I think, is the feeling they must come up with something "original".

Ah, Originality, you mythical beast you, rarer than unicorns and natural tits in porn.

The 'original story' is an inflated myth. You get so caught up in the idea of trying to come up with something original you forget what storytelling is about, how it began. Storytelling was an oral tradition, it is how people kept their history, taught their children, and passed on their culture. And most important of all, it was entertainment through the long dark nights. Yes, entertainment is most important because ultimately, listening to stories is how humans used to relax, we took comfort from them, were inspired by them.

The beauty of this practice is with every generation of storytelling, with every storyteller, the story changes, new words are added, characters are embellished, change, built on over and over until the story is hardly recognizable from its 'original' version.

This is the heart of storytelling, something I think we lose sight of in a world of copyright infringement and publication rights. We want to own our words so badly but the truth is, once we put it out into the world, the story will change. It might not happen immediately, but if you are lucky, it will inspire people. Someone might write fan fiction, or adapt your story in a new form.

 As a writer, my goal is to support my family with my craft. But I know my greatest creative tool as a writer is not my originality, but my voice. My ability to spin the story and create my fictional world. Why do so many vampire novels exist? Not because these writers are lacking in originality, no, each lends their own unique voice, creating something entirely new from the 'original' idea. They create new characters, new rifts, new worlds.

We all pull our inspiration from somewhere, from myth, from life, from history. These are the foundations we build upon, the concrete beneath the dazzling skylines.

Want a better example of this process in motion? Look at Harry Potter. Here we have the incredible voice of J. K. Rowling, her characters have become iconic, her books continue to entertain the upcoming generations. The world of Harry Potter is heavily influenced by Arthurian legend, stories of witches and wizards that have been around for centuries, but Harry and his friends are all 'Original'.

As long as writer's are fueled by their imagination and have the courage and drive to spin their words, we will always see fantastic stories, no matter the form, be they traditional novels, or web fiction, or what have you, stories will always find a way to be told.

There is always a story to tell.